The Dangers of Online Chat Sites: What Parents Need to Know

Online chat has always been part of growing up on the internet, from early chat rooms to today's group chats and game lobbies. Most of it is harmless: friends talking, teammates coordinating, fans geeking out about a show. But some chat spaces are built in a way that puts kids in direct, private contact with adults they don't know, and that's where the real danger lies.

This guide explains which kinds of chat are riskiest, what actually happens in the cases that go wrong, and what you can do about it.

The riskiest kinds of chat

Random chat with strangers

Sites and apps that pair you with a random stranger for text or video chat are the highest-risk category. The best known, Omegle, shut down in November 2023. Its founder said running it was no longer sustainable, financially or psychologically, and acknowledged that some people had used it to commit terrible crimes. The closure came shortly after a lawsuit involving a child who had been paired with a predator as an 11-year-old.

Omegle's closure didn't end random chat. Many copycat sites and apps offer the same experience, often with even less moderation. Our article what was Omegle explains what to look for.

Live streaming with chat

Apps where kids broadcast themselves while viewers comment in real time make it easy for strangers to flatter, gift and direct a young streamer. See live streaming: what are the risks.

Chat inside games and community servers

Many popular games and gaming communities include text and voice chat. Most players are just playing, but these spaces are also used by adults to meet children, build trust over shared interests, and then move conversations to private messaging apps.

Messaging apps with weak age checks

Apps that let anyone message anyone by username, with little or no age verification, carry similar risks. Our review of Kik is one example.

What actually happens when it goes wrong

The pattern is remarkably consistent across platforms:

1. Contact. A stranger starts a conversation in a public space: a game, a stream, a random chat.
2. Trust. They're friendly, complimentary and interested in the child's life. They may pretend to be a similar age.
3. Moving private. They suggest switching to a private or disappearing-message app "where it's easier to talk."
4. Isolation. They encourage secrecy: "Your parents wouldn't understand."
5. Escalation. Requests for photos, video or meeting in person, sometimes with gifts or money.
6. Pressure. Once they have an image, some use it to threaten the child for more images or money. This is sextortion, and the money-demanding version frequently targets teenage boys.

Exposure to explicit content is the other common harm. On random video chat sites in particular, children can see adults exposing themselves within seconds of connecting.

Warning signs

No single sign proves something is wrong, but take notice if your child:

• Becomes secretive about their device or quickly switches screens when you walk by.
• Mentions a new friend you've never met, especially an older one.
• Receives gifts, game currency or money from someone online.
• Has new apps you don't recognize, particularly messaging or random chat apps.
• Seems anxious, withdrawn or upset after using their phone.
• Uses their device late at night.

What parents can do

Set up the basics

• Block random chat sites using your device's web filters: Limit Adult Websites or approved websites only in Apple's Screen Time, and Chrome content filters in Google Family Link.
• Require approval for new apps with Ask to Buy on Apple devices or app approvals in Family Link.
• Lock down game chat. Most consoles and games let you turn off voice and text chat or limit it to approved friends. Check the console's family settings and each game's own settings.
• Keep accounts private and limit direct messages to people your child knows.

Keep devices in shared spaces

For younger kids especially, devices used in the living room rather than the bedroom make secret conversations less likely. Charging phones outside bedrooms overnight helps at any age.

Talk early and often

• Explain that people online aren't always who they say they are, and that adults who want secret friendships with kids are a red flag.
• Make it clear that anyone asking for photos, secrets, or to move to a different app is someone to tell you about.
• Promise that if something goes wrong, they won't lose their phone for telling you. Fear of punishment is one of the main reasons kids stay silent.

Know what to do if something happens

1. Stay calm and thank your child for telling you.
2. Don't delete anything. Take screenshots of messages, usernames and profiles.
3. Don't confront or pay the person.
4. Report the account on the platform.
5. Report to the NCMEC CyberTipline and contact local police if there's any sexual content, threat or request involving a minor.
6. If explicit images of your child are being shared, NCMEC's Take It Down service can help get them removed from participating platforms.

Our guide to sextortion and what parents can do goes into more detail.

The bottom line

Not all online chat is dangerous, but chat that connects kids privately with strangers is where most serious harm starts. A quick checklist:

• Random chat sites blocked
• New apps require your approval
• Game chat limited to real-life friends
• Devices out of bedrooms at night
• Your child knows the red flags: secrecy, gifts, requests for photos, moving to private apps
• Your child knows they can tell you anything without losing their device