Family Media Agreement: How to Write One That Actually Works (With Sample Rules)

A family media agreement is a written set of rules about screens that everyone in the house helps create and agrees to follow. It can cover phones, tablets, video games, TV, social media, and even smart speakers. Many families write one when a child gets a first phone, but it helps at any age.

Why put it in writing? Because "we talked about it once" tends to fade, and arguments over screens are easier when everyone can point to the same page. An agreement also makes expectations clear for babysitters, grandparents and the other household in shared custody.

Start with a template, or start from scratch

The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a free, interactive Family Media Plan on its HealthyChildren.org site. You choose the rules that fit each child's age and your family's values, and it produces a personalized plan you can print. It's a solid starting point if you don't want to write from a blank page.

If you'd rather write your own, the sections below cover what most families include.

What to include

1. Where devices go

• Screen-free zones: dinner table, bedrooms, bathrooms.
• Where phones charge overnight, ideally outside bedrooms.
• Where younger kids can use devices: shared spaces like the living room.

2. When devices are used

• Screen-free times: meals, homework (unless needed), the hour before bed, family outings.
• Daily or weekly limits for entertainment screen time, if you use them.
• What comes first: homework, chores, outside time.

3. What's allowed

• Which apps, games and platforms are okay, and at what age.
• How new apps are approved (for example, "ask first, and we'll look at it together").
• Ratings limits for games, movies and apps.

4. Safety and privacy

• Accounts stay private; no sharing passwords except with parents.
• No personal information in profiles: full name, school, address, phone number.
• Only talk to people you know in real life.
• Never meet someone in person you met online without a parent.
• If anyone asks for photos, secrets or to switch apps, tell a parent.

5. Kindness and posting

• Don't post or forward anything that would hurt or embarrass someone.
• Ask before posting a photo of someone else, including family members.
• If you see someone being bullied, tell an adult.

6. Money

• No in-app purchases without permission.
• Who pays for apps, game currency or subscriptions, and from what budget.

7. Parental oversight

• What parents can check (location, apps, messages) and when.
• That parental controls are in place, and how they'll loosen as kids show responsibility.

8. What happens when things go wrong

• Consequences for breaking a rule, decided ahead of time.
• A safety promise: if you come to us because something online scared or upset you, you won't be punished for telling us. This is the most important line in any agreement.

9. Parents' commitments

• Phones away at meals and during conversations.
• Ask before posting photos of the kids.
• No texting while driving.
• Listen first when something goes wrong.

Sample rules by age

These are examples to adapt, not a prescription.

If you're deciding when to hand over a first phone, our guide on what age for a kid's cell phone can help.

How to create it together

1. Hold a family meeting. Ask kids what they love about their devices and what bugs them, including about your phone use.
2. Draft together. Let kids suggest rules. They're more likely to follow rules they helped write.
3. Keep it short. One page is ideal. Ten clear rules beat thirty vague ones.
4. Sign it. Everyone, including parents.
5. Post it. On the fridge or in a shared family note.
6. Share it with caregivers. Babysitters and grandparents should know the rules. See our tech tips for babysitters.

Back up the agreement with settings

An agreement sets expectations; device settings help everyone stick to them. Apple's Screen Time and Google's Family Link can enforce downtime, app limits, content ratings and purchase approvals so the agreement isn't relying on willpower alone. Our list of 5 simple actions to keep your family safe online covers the essential settings.

Keep it alive

• Review it regularly, such as at the start of the school year and before summer.
• Update it as kids grow. A 10-year-old's agreement won't fit a 14-year-old.
• Reward responsibility. Loosen limits when kids show good judgment.
• Stay consistent. If a rule isn't working, change it openly rather than ignoring it.

The bottom line

A good family media agreement is short, specific, written together, signed by everyone, and revisited often. Start with the AAP's free tool or the sections above, include a promise that kids can always come to you when something goes wrong, and remember that the rules you follow yourself will teach more than anything on the page.