How to Restrict iMessage on Your Child's iPhone or iPad

iMessage is how most iPhone-owning kids talk to friends and family, and for many it's their first taste of messaging without a parent in the room. That's mostly a good thing, but it raises fair questions: who can reach my child, what are they sending, and when?

Apple's parental controls give you several levels of control, from a light touch to turning Messages off entirely. This guide walks through each one, starting with the least restrictive.

First, a quick setup note

Most of these controls work through Screen Time and Family Sharing. For the best results:

• Give your child their own Apple Account in your Family Sharing group.
• Set a Screen Time passcode that your child doesn't know.
• Update both your device and your child's.

With iOS 27, Apple reorganized parental controls under Settings > Family > [your child] on the parent's device. Those new menus appear once every device in the family group is running version 27 software and a parent completes a one-time setup. If not, use Settings > Screen Time on the child's device instead. Menu names below cover both.

Option 1: Limit who your child can message

This is the most useful control for most families. It lets your child message freely with people you approve, while blocking strangers.

On iOS 27

1. On your device, go to Settings > Family and tap your child's name.
2. Tap Allowed Contacts.
3. Tap During Screen Time and choose Contacts Only, Contacts & Groups with at Least One Contact, or Everyone.

On earlier versions

1. Go to Settings > Screen Time, and tap your child's name if you're using Family Sharing.
2. Tap Communication Limits.
3. Under During Screen Time, choose Contacts Only, Contacts & Groups with at Least One Contact, or Everyone.

These limits apply to Phone, FaceTime and Messages. Calls to emergency numbers are always allowed.

Which setting to pick? "Contacts Only" is the most protective. "Contacts & Groups with at Least One Contact" lets your child join group chats as long as someone they know is in it, which is how a lot of school and team chats work. The trade-off is that strangers in a group can then message them.

Option 2: Manage the contact list itself

Limiting to "Contacts Only" only works if you know who is in the contacts.

• On iOS 27, turn on Manage Contacts in your child's settings to choose their approved contacts, and decide whether your child can edit the list.
• Apple also lets parents require that a child ask permission before connecting with a new contact. The request comes to you, and you can approve or decline it.
• On earlier versions, you can manage your child's contacts from your device if their contacts sync through iCloud, and turn off Allow Contact Editing in Communication Limits.

Option 3: Keep Communication Safety on

Communication Safety detects nudity in photos and videos sent or received in Messages (and in AirDrop, FaceTime and other places), blurs it, and gives your child options to get help. Apple says the analysis happens on the device, so Apple doesn't see the content.

It is on by default for children under 18 in a Family Sharing group in many regions. With iOS 27, it also blurs gore and violence by default for users under 18. For children under 13 with a Screen Time passcode set, they can't view a blurred image without a parent entering the passcode.

You'll find the toggle under Communication Safety in your child's settings. Our guide to preventing AirDrop sexting explains how it works in more detail.

Option 4: Limit when your child can message

Messaging at 1 a.m. is rarely about homework. Screen Time can restrict communication during set hours.

• On iOS 27, use Schedule to decide which apps are available at different times and on different days. Leaving Messages out of a nighttime schedule keeps it unavailable during those hours.
• On earlier versions, use Downtime to block most apps during set hours, and set Communication Limits > During Downtime to Specific Contacts, so your child can still reach you.

Pair this with a household rule about where phones charge overnight.

Option 5: Turn off Messages entirely

For younger kids who don't need to text anyone yet, you can remove Messages altogether.

• Block the app: In your child's Apps & Websites settings on iOS 27, select Messages and tap Block App. On earlier versions, go to Content & Privacy Restrictions > Allowed Apps and turn off Messages.
• Turn off iMessage only: On the child's device, go to Settings > Apps > Messages and turn off iMessage. Standard SMS texts on an iPhone with a cellular plan will still work.

Blocked apps stay installed but are dimmed or hidden, so you can turn them back on later.

Option 6: Restrict group chat headaches

Large group chats can be a source of drama, bullying or just endless notifications. A few tools help:

• Your child can leave a group of four or more people by tapping the group name and choosing Leave this Conversation.
• Hide Alerts silences a single conversation without leaving it.
• Our article on the problem with group iMessages has more tips.

What Apple's controls don't do

It's worth being clear about the limits:

• You can't read your child's messages through Screen Time.
• Third-party messaging apps like WhatsApp, Snapchat or Discord aren't covered by Communication Limits. Manage those with app age ratings, Ask to Buy and app blocking.
• A shared Apple Account undermines everything. If your child is signed in with your Apple Account, messages can sync to your devices and parental controls won't work properly.

If you're considering monitoring the content of messages, our article on how to monitor your teen's phone discusses the trade-offs.

Checklist by age

• Under 10: Messages blocked, or Contacts Only with Manage Contacts on.
• 10 to 12: Contacts Only, Manage Contacts on, schedule or downtime at night.
• 13 to 15: Contacts & Groups, Communication Safety on, nighttime limits.
• 16 and up: Everyone, with an ongoing conversation about who they're talking to.

Whatever you pick, tell your child what you've set and why. Controls work best when kids understand them.